Damaged Soul (Claude)

[REBEL]

Desiree sat in the den in silence. Over the passed few weeks she stayed back out of the way. In a simple sense she had avoided even speaking to her siblings. It was hard for her to be near them, feeling so guilty about what happened to their father. She had felt it was her fault for so many years. If only she had listened, stayed with the group it probably would not have happened. That day haunted her still and probably always would. The people who held her captive, shoved it into her head that she had killed Remy. The idea was never pushed out.

She sat flipping through the channels silently, not finding nothing interesting on at all, so she turned it to the news. Des was somewhat afraid still to go back out into battle, to deal with what the others were doing. She wanted to just curl up and hide at times, but she never showed it. She tried her hardest to step up and say she would go, even with so much fear filled inside her, she would go out if it meant she knew what was happening to her family.

Desiree pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on them, wrapping her arms around tightly. Her long hair was pulled back into a ponytail, with her white bangs framing her face. Her red on black eyes looked at the tv, though she dazed out, ignoring the television and allowing her mind to wander. Desiree wished she could have her old life back. In the end though, the cajun girl knew that everything that was happening would come to an end. Her worry was that one side wouldn't step down soon enough.

[GAMBIT]

Her eldest sibling and only brother, Claude, stepped into the den. She had been back for a few weeks now, but the poor thing just hadn't adjusted yet, which was to be expected he guessed, she had gone through a lot. But that was why big brother was coming on down, to do the big brother thing. As his Dad had once told. "Claude mah boy, do ye'kno wha you was born first? Its so you got some time to get big n'strong, to protect dem sista's ah yours."

It made sense to him, and he was rather fond of it. "How you feelin' Des?" he asked, before taking a seat next to her, reaching up an arm to pull her close to him, lean her into his shoulder. "You wanna talk to yea big brotha?" he continued, keeping things slow and smooth. His other hand came up to gently rub at her hair, make sure it was out of her face. His little sister, all locked up, it hadn't been right.

[REBEL]

Desiree watched Claude as he moved towards her. she said nothing, but watched all his movements carefully. When he sat down and pulled her close she relaxed and lay her head on his shoulder. Tears started to form in her eyes, though she tried to make them stop, not wanting Claude to worry. Desiree held back the sniffles and moved a little closer to her big brother, feeling so much safer near him. "Ah'm feelin' okay..." she said, just above a whisper, worried her voice would crack if she went any louder. For a few moments she remained silent after that taking comfort with being next to her big brother.

When the younger girl did finally speak, it wasn't something she was really expecting to say. "Rememba when ah was lil...an' when it would rain ah would run outside and play in it, even if mama said not t'?" Desiree paused for a moment. "She would send Papa out an' weh wouldn't come back for awhile?" she looked at Claude, life in her eyes as she spoke so fondly about Remy. "Well...ah always convinced Papa t' stay outside longer, an' weh would sit on a tree limb, an' watch the rain. When it stopped, ah always made him wait to see if there would beh a rainbow. Ah loved seein' 'em, Papa though he would roll his eyes at meh." she grinned a bit. "Din once weh got down from the tree ah would run through mud and splash it on Papa, which is why we always came back so muddy." She fell silent once more before continuing. "Ah miss dim. Ah miss dim a lot Claude. An' its meh fault Papa is gone..its all meh fault."

[GAMBIT]

When Desiree did the upset younger sister thing and cuddled into her brother for security, he did the older brother thing and held her close, planting a loving kiss on her head. "Ah rememba mon petite....ah rememba." he replied gently, before giving a little chuckle at her story, and his own. "Ah rememba very as a mattah o' fact, cuz when our Momma was all distracted by you two actin'deh monkah, I used to sneak Shila out to dah boathouse, even at thirteen dat girl didn't need to stuff no bra." Ah Shila....good old Shila.

What she said at the end however, got a very different reaction from him altogether. "Now I wan'cha to stop talkin' like dat right dis minute, yea here? You didn't pull no gun on our pappy, der's only one persona we gottah blame for dis, in'his name is Jackson Craft.....it ain't yea fault. You tink our fatha's last thoughts were, I'm goin' down, in it all cause'o little Desi? Noi, he was thinkin dat he had deh sweetest, most beautiful daughter in deh world, and he weren't gon'let no pig hurt not even one hair on her head." Survivors Guilt was a terrible thing, and the wee Rebel, had a most severe case.

[REBEL]

Desiree looked at Claude, tears flowing from her eyes freely. "Ah was stupid and didn't follow lahke ah was supposed to! If ah hadn't been out dere din Papa wouldn't beh gone!" She told him. "Dey were raght tellin' meh it was meh fault. Behcause its true..." she looked at him. "Ah'm sorreh Claude. Ah'm sorreh ah took Papa from ya and Rozz." Desiree pulled away from her brother slightly as she started apologizing. She hated herself for what happened years ago. Though she was starting to feel better, the guilt that she had kept hidden inside her for so long was finally being released. Over time it had built up, with nobody to talk to about it.

It wasn't along before Desiree started wiping the tears from her face not wanting to cry anymore. It had been sometime since she really freely cried, and she felt that she had done it enough in front of her big brother for the day. "Sorreh..." she whispered. "Ah didn' mean t' jus' break down on y'..." she looked at him with her sorrowful red on black eyes.

[GAMBIT]

When Desi tried to move away, Claude just pulled her straight back. "Ah no no no mon petite, it ain't ye'fault. You didn't drive no truck up'ere and take a gun on our daddeh. Its not ye'fault, and if you start thinkin' it is, then you just given them a victory." he tried to explain. "Now don'tchu worry, you break down all you need. That's what yer big brother is 'ere for, no?" he continued. Claude wouldn't have been much of a brother if he couldn't even provide a shoulder to cry on. Luckily he could provide a shoulder to cry on, and he could do a lot more, like bring home ice-cream to nom on....and maybe he'd let her have a glass of wine at dinner.....on the weekends, assuming he was there. Just one glass.

[REBEL]

Desiree clung to Claude and cried more, after listening to his words, she was starting to feel better. The guilt remained, but it lessened a bit, hearing him say those things, hearing him make sense, it helped a lot. Desiree remained in his hold though. She didn't move away for quite awhile and when she did she wiped her eyes and looked at Claude. "Thank ya" she told him and kissed his cheek. "Ya need a haircut." she added with a small smile and pulled his hair a little. It was going to take awhile for her to heal, and she would probably never make a full recovery, but it was a start.

"When do ah start meh field trainin'?" Desiree questioned, her tone serious, determination was plastered on her face. "Ah wanna get out dere and faght again. When do ah start Claude?"